Expanding

I have been delving into some philosophy books of late...

There is much to ponder, but two questions have captured my imagination the most....

Does the universe, which we know to be expanding, going to expand forever?

Will it reach out in every direction, filling the nothingness with itself. Eventually galaxies will be billions of light years away. Would the night skies grow darker? It is a lonely idea I think...that we may be moving more and more rapidly away from anything else.

Then there is the idea that after expanding to a certain point, physics would cause it to start collapsing in on itself. Eventually it would collapse to a tiny wee thing, jam packed with the whole universe...and it would explode with a big bang :) Again it would expand as stars and galaxies rushed away from each other. These are considered to be serious options when it comes to considering the universe.

Hindu people have believed for thousands of years that it expands and contracts in an endless cycle.

I know I like this option more! And it seems to make intuitive sense...all around, I can see this expansion and contraction. Every where in nature, from the tides to the opening of a flower reflects this. Of course the most obvious reflection of this, is in our own breath.

I have a strong idea that the universe will only ever be able to be understood as an entire organic whole...this is most likely beyond our understanding, as we can only ever see from where we stand, and we can never hope to get 'outside' it as it were :)

So if that was so..if it is an organic interconnected whole, could the expansion-contraction, be a breath..on a huge, universal scale :)

I will get to question two later......(is goodness inherent/instinctive?)

Bliss,Blasphemey and Belief

Bliss, Blasphemey and Belief.
This is the theme for a poetry submission I came across yesterday. This is not an immediately familiar theme to me, as I have never had any formal religious education. I presume that for someone with such an education, these words have meaning, that are associated with story...associated with actual living.....
Blasphemy....to my mind I think straight away of the destruction and desecration of our planet. The heavy feet of people trampling over the sacred..... Ignorantly stomping on the face of the divine.....
To my mind, we are the way the cosmos can know itself.....our planet is the manifestation, of what I can only describe as 'life force'.
To be aggressive, and uncaring about our planet and all the life that fills it, to disrespect the common ancestry of all living things, to see ourselves as apart and beyond the rest of creation is to me blasphemous.
Bliss is one of those words that sounds like what it is.......must be the long drawing out of the ss's
but to my ears bliss....sounds ...well..it sounds blissful :)
I am not sure I have ever really had more than fleeting momentary experiences of bliss....a few minutes here and there, speckling times of contentment and joy.....
Does the Dali Lama always feel bliss? He certainly looks like it is a state he is familiar with....always he appears so serene.
In my dictionary, bliss is also associated with abandonment and exaltation. These are not what I would have immediately thought....and yet to be 'exalt blissfully' sounds pretty nice......can you have these experiences without some spiritual or religious connotation....does bliss imply a belief in something greater than ourselves? Would someone with no spirituality experience bliss? I mean doesn't there have to be abandonment to something? And exaltation of something?.....are we able to experience bliss, in a natural state? I am not sure....and it is hard to tell, since religious education or no, I do have spiritual beliefs...and for me I guess bliss is kinda tied up in that. But having said that, I think that bliss could come from just knowing a 'connectedness' to the earth, the universe and the wonder of life........
Belief is difficult for me.... I think in my time it has become associated with so much that is negative....it seems people use very strong beliefs to justify really nasty behaviour. It seems sometimes that having a belief is enough.....you do not have to have reason for it...just strong conviction. I think the things we believe can be looked at...updated, tossed out or rejuvenated.....I have not too much trouble changing my mind, and do not feel the need to hang onto to beliefs when they have obviously moved past expiry....but then do I truly believe in the first place?
Ok well...I believe the world is round...and this is unlikely to change :) I also believe that most people are good most of the time.....now this is different, because I choose to believe it....I don't actually know it for a fact...but for me to have this belief makes my life richer, and more positive....or so I choose to believe !!

What I am up to...

Ok, so I love an invite to chat..thank you Prairie Star :)
I may however be stuck for another five...perhaps time to make some friends?
Ok so the questions are:
1. What am I reading at the moment?
2. What am I listening to at the moment?
3. What am I watching at the moment?

1: Well I just today was able to get in some time at the op-shop, which is my favourite place for books. I always offer a little thought before I go in along the lines of....let the book I am needing, find me :)
So today, I got three books, which is exciting Seven Centuries of Poetry in English' John Leonard (Editor)
Lifelines: 'Australian Women's letters and Diaries 1788 to 1840
and also another one, that I cannot find right now, but is something like "I believe' and is essays from Australian people....religious,political,social ect
I have already delved into the poetry...it has poems from Africa, New Zealand, India, America and Briton..as well as a few others. I can only explain it as ...delicious :)
I am trying to not rush into the Australian women's diary's one....I am so looking forward to it. I just recently read the penguin Australian Women Poets anthology collection...and I have long held a love for the language and imagery of our country when first settled (by white people)....I think it was so alien o what people knew of, and the courage to get through each day, is pretty inspiring.

2: Right at this moment? I am listening to my son, converse with his dog in the other room :) But lately I have been listening to what I call my 'soul sounds'..this playlist includes Billy Holiday, Nina Simone,Lauryn Hill,Joni Mitchell, and a few others....songs that sound like the singer knows what she's on about!

3:Paint dry!! Really....I have some oil background done, and I am waiting for it to dry, so I can go ahead with the rest. There is little on TV at the moment...summer break, and we have been on holidays...which amounts to good creative time for me :) Lots of painting and writing done..some photography, and time at the beach.Yay!
Ok now for the tagging part...I hope this is right :)
http://berlinkat.blogspot.com/
and also
http://cinnyn.blogspot.com/

Blog Two..

So I thought I had made a commitment to do this, and what I find is that I have run from it for days!
Hmmmm, what is it I am afraid of I wonder...that the she inside may raise her head and something I would rather not hear???
And think..then it would be written! How astounding!
Ok so now I am making fun of myself!? All this dithering......
So I decided I would prompt myself....from Dan Millman, The life you were born to live (36/9)
" A major relationship issue for 36/9 involves ideals that block authentic feelings. Because of this they have a hard time expressing themselves honestly. Relationships provide a superb opportunity for growth in this area"
Ok...so ideals that block authentic feelings...
Yes I have to put my hand up to this. I think one of the reasons that it was later rather than sooner for Hector to leave, was because of this...it was very painful for me to let go off the stuff I wanted to be true...
I really had to push myself to accept some of the truths around our marriage....that I did not feel safe....that I did not have any trust in my partner...on any level really.
Initially I tried to counter it...I figured if I just didn't rely on him for anything...then I could not be hurt..could not be held to ransom...could not be punished.
Not only was it exhausting..but it was untenable...we were strangers, and even he noticed that.
With my Mother I have never been completely honest...I don't feel I can be.She is always the victim...always the drama, and so i have always just done what I can to keep things going as smoothly as possible.....and that is patronizing to her probably...and it undermines her, in some way I know. I guess it is the easy way....to just manage her,
but if I am true, then I do not feel that she even knows me...
Before I could be honest with her, I would want to be further from the anger too. I have compassion for her...and her story is sad, but I know there is anger there to...
A refusal to take on the responsibility of her any more......and confusion over some of things that happened....so if I could work through that, then maybe I would speak with her.

First blog......ever :)

Ok so this is the begining of the adventure......
I have to call it that, as I have no clue where this will go, or what things will be revealed!
My aim, is just to get writing....no matter what. I have always longed to write...and then havn't.
I think it ha to do with putting something down, that could later be bought back.....
When I was about 13, I had a friend find and broadcast the contents of my diary...it was a painful, humilitaing experience, and i have never forgotten how it felt to be confronted by things I had said months before......
Still I figure I am no longer of that age.......and a blog although on the web, feels to me safe somehow...
I guess because my intimate family will not be reading this....so at present I have no fear (or not much) of any judgement.
So a new thing to start in the new year.......thanks to the wisdom of a friend I am wanting to 'add more' this year....and more writing is definately on the plans! Also more health...by way of giving up the fags, and more eating too!
Anyhow if I can just get myself into the habit of putting thoughts down regulary then that will be good.....mostly though, I want to do this for me......to see what comes if I can move on from the fear, and really just let myself put down the things I really feel..